nostalgia

have you been sentimental while crossing the street?

haven't you dealt with bittersweet feelings while talking to a fish vendor?

nostalgia...

at last i was able to mumble into to myself..

it was a very deep longing for someone.

someone i wished to talk to when i'm partly insane..

someone that would:

spank me without a reason,

yell like my mom as she used to,

make face in front of a fish vendor,

cross the streets without looking side by side,

get a peso change with my jeepney fare...

i missed being with someone whom i used to be myself.

not hiding, not pretending.

jerking around, peeking inside my crushes' classroom.

but..,

it suddenly turned into a frozen memory when i turned down the offer as being one of the 'iskolar ng bayan'

stubborn and completely messed up!..

my plans were washed away.

ambitions suppressed in my innermost heart.

i heard the story of MMK last saturday,

yet bitterness flowed into my veins..

i felt like i was going to puke..giving in with its undesirable taste!

i disgust myself for a moment..

anger was creeping into my heart!

however it did not consume my whole being..

thankfully, i was able to control myself, letting the zen dash into my blood..

in exchange of a toxic regret!

minutes passed..

my phone rang..,

i was surprised...

ashamed for a second...

looking at the caller i.d,

answered it,

she whispered,

'i miss you'!

Harriet Beecher Stowe

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."

(wisdomquotes.com)

(photo from flckr.com)