shaking

part of me is shaking..
trembling..
i kept my eyes closed for a moment..

i sensed doubt..
filtering underneath my heavy thoughts..

i can feel my heartbeat..
it was too loud..
building up my confusion..

i'm deeply consumed by what?
anger?..disbelief?..
it was too much for me to handle..

neither of us wanted to be hurt..
but by not wanting that..
hurts more..

i don't know what to write..
my enthusiasm failed to lift up my spirit now..

my eagerness is fading away..
what i want to say marked until the tip of my tongue..
i was never close to saying those words..
reading it between and beyond the lines is impossible!

i kept on fighting myself..
but kept on losing..

still the same as usual..
trembling,.. the moment that question is being asked..
shaking,.. the moment regret find its way back to where it belongs..