_september ends_

i remembered one song of greenday..=p
wake me up when september ends!..

this farewell is not like any other goodbyes..
the 'end' literally meant 'death'...

this september was totally different from what we've experienced before..
it was an horrifying month.,.
september ends .. and so was life for many of us..

many people have died..
they died with fear..
uncertainty..,
anger maybe.,

no one imagined that this event would occur..
a picture of despair, grief and sadness..
was all over the philippines.

many people lost their homes, heritage and lifelong investments..
it was a disaster brought to us by our own doings!

it was really an enraging havoc..
that's what typhoon ondoy brought..

an end and start of pain..

pain comes in but so was HOPE!..

filipinos are now aware of what nature can do to everything they thought that would last forever..
now, we know.. but knowledge and awareness is not enough..

we have to move forward..
work hand in hand..
help..!..
volunteer for a cause!

most of us might be grieving but that's because of our greed!..
we were so greedy!..ambitious!..
we did not think about a tree as a living..
we thought of it as a source of money..
we thought it could only help by making it furnitures and all those stuffs..

yet we didn't think that money was temporary after all!..
it is a punishment of our own wrong doings..

HOPE is the outflux of CHANGE!.
so that's why we have to CHANGE!..
for everyone and everything's
own good..

Time Lapse

this is the beauty of nature..
hi guys!..
INTRAMURALS na nxt week!..
but still marami pa rin ang mga heavy loads!..
andaming nangyari dis past few days!..
and di ko na namalayan "ber" months na nxt week..
kaya naisipan qng ipost ang video na ito..

just dance!

prelim exam was finally over!..
mkawerla!..
at least, i have the tym to relax a bit!..
capping na nman kc..
not 2 excited about it!..
cguro i'm just aware na what's ahead of us is not a bed of roses!..
and i'm anxious. tsk3!..

but still i had the tym to party!..jaja..
fire dance at the beach!..
kakaloka!..ndi q ata kaya ung ganun!..
i had so much fun watching the dance..
kaya lng dahil sa parati aqng umiinom ng kape,
sobra din ang nerbyos..jaja

but anyhow, it was great!..
cannot describe it to you kc i frequently close my eyes during the presentation..
jaja..stupid noh?..scary man gud xenxa!..

til next tym...

mga picz na la giEdit...

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com




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AMERICAN IDOL

VOTE

FOR

KRIS ALLEN

stupid lies

Belated Happy Mother's Day!
i forgot to greet everyone yesterday..=]

i missed writing here...
i've been busy with my studies since our summer classes started..
(shoot!..excuses!=p)

yesterday was a different celebration for me and my family!..
it was peculiar, i guess but somehow i was able to manage the entire process!..

mother's day for us (my family) is a simple yet memorable day..
it was the first time of our entire life to spend it without my dad..
but he gave my mom a little surprise..
i just don't know what it is..

last saturday night, bj and i spent the whole night talking over the phone..
he said that mother's day is not really relevant to him..
i hate it when he mentioned the entire sentence loud and clear..
because for me it is the day that i would offer my appreciation to my mom...
but it seems like it is not within his system!..

yesterday, i woke up late in the morning..
totally messed up..
when came out of my room, i saw him giving my mom a gift and a bouquet of flowers..
and he saw me with a pillow mark on my face, 'muta' on my eyes, or maybe 'dried saliva' on my mouth!..so silly!..
i rushed to the bathroom!..
so embarrassed to get out..
but i could not lock myself in the bathroom..
so i decided to go out..poised..

but i was completely mocked!..
damn!..he can't even hide that i was so hideous!..
he laughed!.. you can't imagine the way he laughed at me!..
i was planning to scold him because he lied about how he perceives mother's day event!..
but i couldn't since my mom was beside him!..

hmmph!..i hated it!..
but it was the thought that counts after all..

Manga Addict

as of now, i spent my "summer vacation" reading manga...
it is very amusing...
every time i turn on the computer..,
i will immediately go to the manga website and read..

until it was the only activity i do everyday..
i was somewhat addicted..
jaja..yeyeah!..

my eyes hurt badly..jeje..
but at least,
for a very long time..
i've got to do what i want..
i never read an interesting book lately..
i've been reading twilight saga for the past month..
and i guess, i didn't like it that much..

but when i was reading these comic scripts..,
i was in a different dimension..
jaja..
nonetheless, my english is not that good now..jeje..peace!..

EARTH HOUR

the hour the earth stood still...

an hour of looking back the things that i've done...
a moment of deciphering the danger i've caused to the environment...
sixty minutes of tracing the blueprint of the international menace - GLOBAL WARMING.
three thousand six hundred seconds of making a powerful statement...
a firm stand to be an agent of change...

it was a piece of cake..
it would not even cost you a lot..
u just have to dilate your eyes more than usual to see through the darkness..
but this hour of darkness is more than what we know it is..
it is darkness where in new light would shine..

shine across nations..,
motivating us to help our planet for only one hour..

me and my family together with the intellectual people around the globe,
joined this splendid event...
(if you joined, then that means you're intellectual too..=p)
we simply turned our lights off..
simple as that..
but that made a difference in the whole wide world!..
it was fun!..actually, we had the time to chat about the things that we have done
that made earth less place to live in..
honestly, it was full of denials..
some of us attempt to defend themselves
with brilliant but dissuasive explanations...

it was heartwarming!..
i hope it lasted a little longer because i can hear the gratefulness of our mother earth!..
it was as if she was thanking me for the cooperation...
i don't know if i'm exaggerating but i guess that was what i felt..


safeguarding the environment for future generations should start NOW!..
the 2009 election

EARTH vs. GLOBAL WARMING

cast your votes now..
and help us rebuild the planet we destroyed!

(spread the news)



video from youtube.

shaking

part of me is shaking..
trembling..
i kept my eyes closed for a moment..

i sensed doubt..
filtering underneath my heavy thoughts..

i can feel my heartbeat..
it was too loud..
building up my confusion..

i'm deeply consumed by what?
anger?..disbelief?..
it was too much for me to handle..

neither of us wanted to be hurt..
but by not wanting that..
hurts more..

i don't know what to write..
my enthusiasm failed to lift up my spirit now..

my eagerness is fading away..
what i want to say marked until the tip of my tongue..
i was never close to saying those words..
reading it between and beyond the lines is impossible!

i kept on fighting myself..
but kept on losing..

still the same as usual..
trembling,.. the moment that question is being asked..
shaking,.. the moment regret find its way back to where it belongs..

deafening heartbeat

START YOUR DAY RIGHT!!!

it is the most common reminder from our clinical instructor in our RLE class..
and i agree with her..
i am frequently reminded by that each morning!..

today, i never forgot that reminder..
i even stared in my mirror and stated that sentence all over and over again..
i was covered with a positive aura when i got to school..
i was buoyant and happy..

we finished our laboratory manuals in microbiology..
actually last week, we were tasked to use scotch tape method on a particular kid who seems to practice improper hygiene..
in order to have a positive specimen of enterobius vermicularis..
but unfortunately, i did not make my assignment and i believe that is my own fault..
i was not agitated..simply because i won't dare to punch myself..
it would be stupid!

after finishing my laboratory manual, i passed it together with my groupmates' manuals..
i ended up having 20 mistakes..
but surely, that was all i could squeeze out..
it was perfectly fine..

not until the LEECHES came and sucked all blood they could suck!..
they got my paper and copied it to have a perfect score..
they didn't even asked permission to do so..
they just copied it!.
without any conscience!..
without any guilt fielding their minds!..

i was disgusted!
displeased! teed off!..repulsed!!

i didn't know if i was able to control myself..

my face turned red!..

and 'mind you, it was really red!..

like a tomato!..

exploding!..KA>>BOOM!!

unfortunately, it did not end like what i've seen in the movies!..

like a scene in most of the drama movies..

i want to be furious and wild!..

i needed to be angry!..

i want to spank them!..
teach them a lesson!..
it irritated me more because i know i could not do it!..
i shouted at 'paul' (sorry if i had to put ur name)
because he was mocking me..
saying the exact words i've told him when he asked permission to copy the answers..
my mind did not process what i have to say!..
i wanted to be alone!..
i left the room..
leave my paper with the "LEECHES"..
hurried to find someone who would comfort me..

it is very absurd!..
i feel like yelling!..
but i end up crying like a baby who've lost her toy!..
it is stupid!..
i hate it when all i could do is 'CRY'!
it was even moronic to cry while walking through the corridors..
it sucks!..
i want to name names here..
to be even..but i think it's a dimwitted idea!..

to the leeches,

goodluck!..God bless your hearts!..
i hope you will realize someday that you're just fooling yourselves!..
i hope to see you at graduation though!..=p

saving lives

behind life lies death...

there is always cons to pros..

the cartessian plane always has a negative axis...

in life there is always a beginning and an end...

either way, we still breathe, live, and enjoy life...

i didn't really like the idea of being a nurse.

i was just forced to take up this course.

in this profession, we promote health, prevent illness and provide simple treatment.

in other words, WE SAVE LIVES!

a patient sees you like a god..

they stop seeing you as a person and begin seeing you as something bigger than you are..

we have to be this way, as gods..

.otherwise, we're just like anyone else..

uncertain, flawed, .. normal..

so we act strong, we remain stoic..

we hide the fact that we are also human...

we are not allowed to make mistakes..

or else someone's life will be a waste..

however, questions in my mind are still intact..

why did i chose to be here?..to be who i am right now?..

even if i'm forced to do so..i still have the power to overthrow their supremacy..

but guess what?..i was motivated by what merideth said in Grey's Anatomy,

"I can’t think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon,

but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit.

They make it hard on purpose…

there are lives in our hands.

There comes a moment when it’s more than just a game,

and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away.

I could quit but here’s the thing, I love the playing field."

i am loving the battleground..

heroic and humane..

i had to be here..or else i won't..
my passion should surmount my regrets..

i would ceased to exist like a regretful 'aimee'..

but instead, i would run the race and finish it..
win or lose..
at least i've fought a good fight..=]

(photo from flckr.com)

the taste of freedom

(photo from flckr.com)

my mom and dad were out of town last week...
motivated by my youthful spirit, i was happy to be at home without being monitored!

i love breaking the rules!..
most of you will not believe that, i doubt!
but honestly, it is one of my 'goals?' in life..
i lived overly protected..
spoonfed and guided each step of the way..
none of my family wanted me scratched!

i appreciate it though..

i do want challenges,
but most of the time
other person plays the game in behalf of me..


i believe that making a mistake is part of growing up!
i'm afraid that when i grow up, i wouldn't be able to live into their expectations..
and that would be the time to be back in to a scratch!
sometimes, i like to write my own desires..
to hum my own aspirations..
and to do my own will..

and that gave me an intuition to pursue my plan!

weeeeee... i was not wreck less after all...
i was composed.
but loved to do the dangerous stuffs..

i might disappoint you with this..
bear in mind that i'm a first timer...
i never gone wild before..

well, bj and i went to cagayan last saturday evening!..
it was awkward because we were not really allowed to see each other during night time..
it was somewhat of a treaty between our families..
at first, i was really malicious!..
i hate to admit it!
but there were some clever thoughts in my mind!..
oh please!..i'm at my peek of youth remember?...
i distracted myself by playing with my cell phone..
but he confiscated it
because it was unfair for him
that i'm the only one playing while he was driving!..
we turned our cellphones off..!

we arrived at cagayan by 5:00 in the morning (i think)
it was still dark..and we didn't have a place to go!..
we started laughing because it was a foolish idea
being there without a place to stay!..
we ended up sitting in the backseat..

i can't explain the moment of silence within the car.
as if we were reading each others thoughts
unfortunately, i can't!
i finished off guessing what he was thinking then..
then he broke the silence...

he asked me few questions i never answered before!
it was a 'yes or no' game!
i had to choose between the two!..
i'm tricky enough to beguile some of his questions.
he had a lot of questions in his mind..
because he can't look at me when he was formulating it..
i didn't bother to ask how long will he ask me those confusing and nerve-wracking questions!

not until, i was so uneasy..
a sudden pain in my abdomen..like the butterflies in there wanted to go out of my stomach..
not because of the questions but because we totally forgot the time!
it was 3:30 in the afternoon and i hadn't eaten my dinner, breakfast and lunch yet!..

my stomach was unforgivable!..
it sent me goose-bumps all over my body!
i can't handle the pain anymore!..

there were no choices left for us to choose!
i was rushed into the hospital..
ending up with an IV..

dehydrated..suffering with my h.pylori mixed in the gastric juices..

did you like the ending?
think!!!

PEACE

why is peace so elusive?

how much more are still left to be sacrificed?

how can we acquire 'peace' in this intricate world?

i am an advocate of peace.
i love peace.
i believe it is better than the riches of this world.
above all wealth and treasures...
it is a masterpiece waiting to be made...

i never really thought that this word will mean so much to me.
before, it was just a simple five letter word.
simple to spell..
simple to pronounce..

yet,

so hard to achieve...

i've seen a video created by the CNN news team and it was about "genocide"..
it was a total destruction of a race, an ethnic group with no military power...
it was heart-breaking...
in a matter of few seconds, everything will turn to dust!
it was a crime against humankind!



i am not really good in persuading people...
not even a public speaker!
but who will stand against this
life threatening event?
who will end this suffering?
by talk or by force..
someone must take a lead!

war settles nothing but tears and agony!
whose convictions will surmount?
whose passion will prevail?

will you let fear wrap you inside?
or will you let "PEACE" keep the fire burning?

choose your battlecry!

(photo from yahoo.com, cnn.com respectively.)

nostalgia

have you been sentimental while crossing the street?

haven't you dealt with bittersweet feelings while talking to a fish vendor?

nostalgia...

at last i was able to mumble into to myself..

it was a very deep longing for someone.

someone i wished to talk to when i'm partly insane..

someone that would:

spank me without a reason,

yell like my mom as she used to,

make face in front of a fish vendor,

cross the streets without looking side by side,

get a peso change with my jeepney fare...

i missed being with someone whom i used to be myself.

not hiding, not pretending.

jerking around, peeking inside my crushes' classroom.

but..,

it suddenly turned into a frozen memory when i turned down the offer as being one of the 'iskolar ng bayan'

stubborn and completely messed up!..

my plans were washed away.

ambitions suppressed in my innermost heart.

i heard the story of MMK last saturday,

yet bitterness flowed into my veins..

i felt like i was going to puke..giving in with its undesirable taste!

i disgust myself for a moment..

anger was creeping into my heart!

however it did not consume my whole being..

thankfully, i was able to control myself, letting the zen dash into my blood..

in exchange of a toxic regret!

minutes passed..

my phone rang..,

i was surprised...

ashamed for a second...

looking at the caller i.d,

answered it,

she whispered,

'i miss you'!

Harriet Beecher Stowe

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."

(wisdomquotes.com)

(photo from flckr.com)

badtrip

i wasn't prepared for school today!
many thoughts are coming cross into my mind..!
it is really mind-bugling..
the idea that you can't focus on what you are doing makes me feel like an idiot!
i don't think my senses are working properly..
i am more like a lethargic person than i was already...

my day started in a nutshell...
my aunts and uncles were at our house early in the morning..
i heard them talking that's why i woke up!..
they were laughing as if my face didn't look annoyed...
i hurried up to take a bath but my brother wanted to use the bathroom first!
as a little sis, i paved way...

i ate my breakfast while he was taking a bath...
he was taking several minutes inside
and i am so angry waiting for him to finish just outside the bathroom..
he went out, annoyed and angry with me because i began knocking the door..
i didn't look at him to expel the raging thunders in my mind!..

it was eight in the morning when i was about to go to school...
the badluck came rushing all over my morning
because there were no tricycles available!
i was furious already!..
out of extreme need to be at school,
i hitched with our neighbor,
letting my face thickened for about ten minutes..
my blood rushed into my face and 'kuya john' (my neighbor) was making fun of it!..
i was so embarrassed and angry because my physiological reactions did not obey my thoughts!

i immediately went out of the car and bid him goodbye!
he was still smiling when i slammed the door...

at school, i was running very late..
i paid my balance account in the cashier because my mom told me so!
i ran to our micro lab room even displeased because we were taking a quiz after the discussion!
i memorized the slides presented to us..!
but i was dismayed because i caught some of my classmates cheating!
"badluck" that's how i want to call it!..

(photo from yahoo.com)

How do i get better once i've had the best?

a line from Katy Perry's recent song... that stunned me, i guess!

can you imagine that the perfect ideal and destined man for you is gone?

can you decipher the intricacy of love?

how would you let the wounds heal in your heart without him?

would you find another one?

better than the best?

is there anything like a 'second best'?

i was wondering last night...

i still got the melody on my ears...

on my subconscious, i was trying to argue with myself,

how can we really get the better one if you have already found the best..

during break-ups, friends often say this line, "ok lng yan!..may mas gwapo ka pang makikita!..mas tarong kaysa sa iyaha!".

but what if he is already the perfect man for you but you've just let him slipped away!..

i don't exactly know the answers for these questions..

my thoughts were dangling and tangling up to this moment..

even if there are too many boys out there waiting for you to say 'YES',

as long as you've had the best person in mind and in your heart..

i think 'true love' is not made for you..

quite rude but hypothetically that could be true..

hmmm..enough with the drama..

i don't really have all the experiences to bother about it!..jaja

i just liked the song and i want to share it to you..=]

(video from youtube)

Starting the End

Have you ever felt the need to do more for yourself?

…for the world?

…for a friend?

…for your family?

I know I don’t have the right to ask God for something, but now, i want to ask Him, why did He create us..to have limits…to be useless some point in our lives… Many times, I want to do more of what I can do, He said, that I can do all things through Christ who strenthens me…but sometimes we just can’t.

They said that there can be miracles when you believe. Are there? Sometimes, God has His own ways of showing His miracles, does it happen to everyone? Or just to those who accept Him as their personal Lord and Savior? I often talk to my self as being so blessed, i’m blessed with such nice friends both Christians and not, blessed with a Christian family, and a lot more.

I didn’t ask for any of it…it was just given to me. But what if I have an illness that only a miracle can bring healing?

What if I ask Him now, to send me miracles, to heal me… What if I ask Him that I don’t want to die now? His ways is higher than my ways, His thoughts are greater than our thoughts. He also promised me that if I ask anything in His name, He will answer it.

"Everything happens for a reason", "Things are not always what it seems", "That’s life…"

…a friend of mine told me these lines, is he right? Is this my fate?

I’ve seen this film by Queen Latifah, titled, "Last Holiday", she only had a couple of months left to live, she was diagnosed of a very rare brain disease. What she did was, she withdrew all her money in the bank and gone to places she always wanted to be, ate all the food she always wanted to eat by her favorite chef…to make the long story short, she did all the crazy stuff.

hmmm…i wonder what are the things that I wanna do…

Anyway, I guess our roads end somewhere. Our roads may cross but we always end up somewhere where we couldn’t pull over, where there would be no U Turns nor detours…just  the..END OF THE ROAD.